My health and how alternative medicine can sometimes fail

Some of you have walked a path with me for several months of suffering.
I literally felt as though my insides had fallen and were going to come right outta me.
From there, my body began to react very strangely and off balance. I had digestive issues, back pain, got a UTI and all manners of strange and painful physical symptoms which then wreaked havok on my emotional well being.

The doctors were very expensive, and the only insurance I have is cervical cancer visits every quarter. As as I had money I went to several herbal or alternative healers that I was referred to by others and whose prices were affordable.

I was told all manners of diagnosis FROM pre cancer that was all over my pelvic region TO it was my fault because I chose it.

I was in pain, and my emotional wellbeing was struggling badly.

At the time, what I needed so very much was loving care.

And greatest need was to be LISTENED to.

How far we have come from that basic need.

Often, as healers, we are trying scientifically or magically to tell people what they need. Sometimes a person just needs to be cared for or made to feel that they are important and have value.
Giving a person hope is the beginning of quality of life for someone ailing.
I dont mean gloss over issues. No we need to address the issues for sure.

However I found through this chapter of life was that people are more focused on their power to heal you without really listening to your problems.

I finally was connected with a few that listened. One was my friend in Jackson, who also referred me to another healer that really had encouraging words for me. After talking with her I felt very positive. I was so afraid of the blame game again that I never told this lady I was sick. lol

About the same time, I saw my raidation doctor, hoping that a visit with him might be covered under the cervical cancer program.
I hestitated going because I was not sure he would know for sure, but he LISTENED to me and spent time with me and felt I needed some estrogen. He helped me so much and even hooked me up with my first prescription. ( I always enjoyed this doctor because he always took as much time as I needed when going through treatment)
I began to feel stronger pretty quick, but all was not perfect. I had a few relapses after that.
So I saved enough money for a Gyn that is open to many forms of healing. She was able to get me in right away, and she spent 2 hours with me. She did an extremely thorough pelvic exam and she agreed that hormones and vigorous kegel excercises could fix my pain. She also did a few other tests, and determined that candida is a battle for me as well.
(Darn it anyway....no beer or fermentated herbal things for awhile.-thanks menopause :()

Both these doctors that listened to me and truly HEARD what I was saying helped me begin to heal.

This gyn also is setting me up with natural bio identical hormones, and she is so sweet she called me yesterday just to see how I was doing. Now that is care!

I also got a TSH test with another former midwife for about 10% of what I was quoted at the cheapest doctors office.
Everything just came together ...and my thyroid is good after all...yay

I am not dying and full of disease. I am not a person that chose to be ill.

My body and muscles prolapsed, which is something with a little commitment on my part, can be corrected. Cancer treatment was hard on my body and the menopause that came along with the treatment finally caught up while I was unaware.

The incorrect diagnosis from these other healers that weren't even paying attention to me caused me more pain and money in the long run because I had to get an expensive cat scan to see if the cancer diagnosis was correct.

All some could see was my past of having cervical cancer, without further exploring but telling me the worst.
Others just wanted to pick my diet apart and tell me to drink certain tea.

Sadly, all along I knew my muscles prolapsed, but I was so confused by the other symptoms. That was what made me seek help, and that is what threw me in the wrong path. I doubted myself, especially after these other more experienced healers put me in doom.


The worse part was that my emotional state was a mess, when all I needed was estrogen.

I AM SO GRATEFUL that someone listened. And those that listened both felt I needed the same help.

So the moral of the story is that I learned so many things through this ordeal, and the last chapter I got to see first hand what kind of herbalist I DONT want to be!!!

When you and I are seeking the counsel of any healer, in any healing modality at all, we need to be sure that we aren't just us writing down our history on forms but that we are truly being heard.

I will be a good listener for all my clients~
I wont let ego get in the way of being the best I can be.
This is my mantra:)

10 reasons why I blog...thanks to Val

Val tagged me to do this so to appease her...lol I will.
By the way, her link is in my side bar and she is one amazing crafty mama. I am continually amazed at her creativity and her kids are so lucky to have such talent and good energy raising them.

1. I like to journal things

2. blogging is easier for me than journaling especially since pictures can be attached and give a visual for the topic at hand.

3. It gives me space on the web to particpate in blog partys so that I can cooperatively work with other like minded folks in our writing about our passions.
This has also been an excellent learning tool and has brought some new friends into my life that have enlightened me.

4. New friends and connection to like minded folks

5. I am able to present my writing to students and friends wanting to learn herbalism. Blogspot is free and a great service so I can share with them the link and they can come see what the plant looks like and what it is used for in that days writing if they woudl like.

6. It helps me be creative. Having a blog actually gives me opportunities in my mind to write. I really feel writing is an important part of my life. It was when I was in school and still means alot to me.
I am a better writer than speaker~

7.Helps my family see what I am up to

8. Helps others(non family and non student) see what I am up to

9.Helps me present my work that is for sale when I sometime spost it here

10. This is probably the most important-I hope people can see a humble herbal mother, seeking truth and peace, finding solace and medicine in the plant realm. And that they can see not only a powerful woman, but a woman that is not perfect. I sometimes share my mistakes in hopes to spare others from suffering from the same things I may have.
If I can share my life a little, I hope to help others. That is the main goal of this blog.

A picture of the beautiful healing essence of spiderwort

Life abundant

How often are we able to quietly contemplate our life, who we are and what our purpose is on this earth.
For me, a mother indeed. I have actively participated in raising 7 children. And have also had my heart completely broken by some of these children too.
It is not at all an easy task to be a mother because there is a thread of connection that binds much tighter and stronger than any other yoke I have experienced ever before.
When grandbabes come along you feel that thread too, but it is not as tight, nor is it connected straight through your heart, but goes through the heart of another first.
I have 3 littles at home now. They are certainly active in my herbal life since this is probably what I speak, eat , drink or seek most often. They are aware of how important plants are to Ray and I.
However, I am not certain I have planted good seeds in them, as I discover in myself that I have a little fear of nature.
I tend to be a work a holic in my home, I work hard! All the time.
When I finally do get out into nature, I feel refreshed and nourished into my soul.
I then wonder, why I waited so long to get outdoors? Then I recall, oh yes, because I have not been taught how to look for danger signs. In the Ozarks there are wildcats, bears, stinging insects and things I often fear that holds me back from taking more breaks with my children for them, and I, to be fed by the glory of the natural world.

Yesterday I woke up and was "aware" that a special day was about to unfold for my children. They are currently on spring break and I was unsure of how this was to come to pass. We were only planning on a thrift store run both to drop off and browse(or buy) and the farm store in search of rabbit manure.
The thrift store was not a huge score. I was in seach of a glass or ceramic water pitcher and nothing was found, but I did get some pretty blown glass water glasses and an old creamer..you know the kind with turquoise color inside. It broke upon the first washing, but none the less I really like it and will find room for it somewhere.
Then we went to the farm store. They did not carry rabbit manure, but they did have rabbits. One look at those white little creatures and my kids were hooked.
$60 later that I really should not have spent on rabbit stuff, we brought home Jack.

So yes, it was a special day for the children. They love this animal.


One the garden front, I have fellow herbies helping me to ID the plants in my yard that I do not yet know. Such abundance! The chickweed is magnificent right now. The Elder is leafing out. Red buds, service berry and dogwoods are ready for their spring display, daffodils bring cheer to the soul and I am so grateful the previous owners planted them here, my comfrey is emerging up through the leaf mulch and the forsythia is waving in the wind and in case we had not felt the energy of spring yet, she is certainly letting us know.

I go outdoors, and also find comfort in nature, as the father of my grandbaby, Megan, goes to Iraq today to serve our country.
A war I protested before it began, now takes someone I love into its dark deceptive intention.
Brian, Megans Daddy, has always wanted to serve the country to defend us, even as a boy. So all I can do is pray for him and my sorrow for his safety is eased when I go outside and pour my emotions to the breeze. When another is connected to your family via marriage or birth, it is easy to claim them as your own for some reason. Brian feels in many ways like a son, as well as Sam, my other son in law. I wonder if my sons women will feel the same.
And against my will, lol, I will now be forced to make Integrity soap again, for Brian and my stepson, Kenny. Jeez, I just cannot break free from Integrity! :)

As I grow internally, I find that connecting with the plants around me helps soothe my soul and become a better person. Yesterday I planted strawberries, pansies, and we made about 30 newspaper seed pots and have them filled with soil ready for our seeds we will start. We chose 10 things to grow this year. Lemon Balm, Basil, Thyme, Arnica, St Johns Wort, Comfrey, Rosemary, Green Beans, Tomato and Peppers.
We chose only 10 so that we can devote ourselves to their nurturing, but I have a feeling that may turn into 30 things before spring is over. It is such a temptation to fill the yard with such useful things! We do have many others here already so nurturing them along too.
Not only that, but planting endangered plants in our woods is on the to do list as well.
We have ordered our seeds and a kids pack (which added at least 6 other items we had not planned in our original 10) from Horizon Herbs
I trust Richo and Mayche with my seeds. They have such passion for the plants and planet.

I know too, that I will be blessed at Foundation Farm when I can volunteer and learn from Patrice, who I adore, and am fortunate to spend Easter with he and Karen, his amazing wife and their 2 children (who are also amazing). I really love their family.
I have also been invited to a gathering tonite to celebrate spring with a local family and all thier guests on their farm.

It's in the air, a new season, time to take a break from the indoor world, and move outside where we belong and be part of the connectedness of human bond one again.
I think I am ready and expect to share good things with you in the days forthcoming

You are the Pilot

Today as I was showering (oh yes,a blissful time isn't it) I pondered our power in our health.

Often, our health will be strongest when we CHOOSE to input what is best for it.
Sometimes thsi is work. So many food sensitivities and such these days have been recognized.

Maybe we should look at our ancestors and what they lived on to sustain their life.

Then again, so many of us are well blended. I know I have Italian, Irish, English, German and there is some Native American somewhere I am told.
I also think my great grandmother was Danish, but I do not remember.
Many Americans are such a blend that this may be difficult, but not impossible.
It is good to ask questions of our elders in hopes to discover the old ways and survival.

During my bathing ritual, the thought came to me...We are the pilot of our body.
Now some relgious folk say God is their pilot. But I think that is an incorrect statement concerning food for most people. Do you ask the heavens each time you pop something into your mouth? Everytime you consume that Starbucks Frappucino? Or Pizza Hut fare?
You probably give thanks, which is important. But you, are the pilot.

The heavens have given us the ability to choose many things.
Especially, in America, we have the ability to choose our food. So lets make it count. We are responsible for ourselves. Some things are out of our control as well, things we may not have the power to prevent.
But food again is our choice for life. Entertainment again is our choice. Too much of some entertainment may not be healthy. T.V. watching could harm our eyes eventually or concerts with blaring loud music may cause ear problems.

On the opposite side of this argument is orthorexia..those folks overly consumed with being healthy. Thsi is such an interesting issue because so many in America have this consuming thought, otherwise there would not be products on the market catering to those who want low fat, low calorie, no transfats and low carb.

I have been in both places in my life.

Today my anchor is simply this...I am the pilot of the choices of my life. I am a spiritual woman and I do ask the heavens about many things throughout my day. But I, in the end make the choice. So may wisdom fall upon me each and every day for my joy and health, the health and happiness of my family, and a better world which we all share.

Herbalism at the Core our Souls

It's 3:30 am and the house is still. Complete darkness sourrounds me the only sound comes from the rythmic breathing of my family.

I question why I am up at this time of morning.
The holidays have left us slightly worn and exhausted. The stepkids came for the holidays and mid trip one battled the flu and the other one progressed into strep throat after returning home. My youngest broke out in chicken pox. A week before that, the flu was making its way around and one child missed his Christmas party.
There have been things creep up very near to me and I can feel its grip trying to enter in. Immune boosting herbs have been my allys. Warming teas daily which I keep warm all day on my woodstove for a sip anytime I need. Garlic and ginger abound in our meals. Socks on my feet and stocking cap on my head if needed.
When you are the one who admisinsters the healing, there is no time to get sick.
So many depend on your hands to be their loving channel of light in the grey of illness.


Sleep is an essential health care need in the winter. Many animals we see in nature hibernate at this time. The daylight hours are not as plentiful in the season. I often wonder if electricity were not an option for us, would we sleep more in the cold winter?
My body naturally wants to sleep and when the alarm goes off each schoolday, I find it difficult to arise.
So why am I up now?
I beleive the instinctual herbal voice inside knew the call to action this morning. My 7 year old has the worse case of chicken pox I have ever encountered, and he, such a tender soul in nature, would struggle with the discomfort.
I lightly crawled out of bed to put my love into action. No logs were needed for the woodstove this morning, as a slow fire burned all night long. I began a pot of delicious fair trade arabica coffee as a wonderful treat for myself and my sweetheart.
A chicken was ready in the fridge to be used in the care and nurture of my sick boy.
The sounds of home now were of washing and slicing vegetables and opening jars of astragulus and kale. Garlic was pressed and all the scraps I have saved all week were brought to the pot. A litle turmeric was added to add immune stimulating abilites and antioxidants in the cold weather we are experiencing.
This is the foundation of everything we do. Preparing nurturing foods to help the body and soul using herbs and spices to support our intent.
Throughout the day I will admister other herbal helps to address the symptoms of my little man's sufferings as well as keeping the rest of my family strong and vigorous against the foreign invaders that try to creep into our bodies and take over.
Herbalism is at the core of my being. An intuitive voice that speaks inside to guide me on what to do and how to do it. And this day I find that it speaks even as I sleep, waking me to the labor of love needed before the busy world is active.
I am humbled and greatful that I heard the voice. I am better prepared for the work ahead for the sake of those I love. Influenced by the traditions of old. Embracing the wisdom of new information we have available in these modern days. Weaving lore and fact in a daily common sense approach to life. The journey for me always begins where my heart beats strongest. That is caring and nurturing my family.
The task for the day has begun to support health.
Now the laundry must be done. And breakfast made for those that will leave our sacred space on planet earth to learn or work.
An ordinary person I am with an understanding of something magical and wonderful. I am an herbwyfe. It is a river that runs to the core of my soul.